Why the First Year With a Baby Feels So Hard (and What Actually Helps)
The first year of parenting is often described as magical, and in many ways, it is. But it can also feel heavy, confusing, isolating, and overwhelming in ways most parents don’t expect. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering “Am I doing this right?” or “Why does this feel harder than I thought it would?” I want you to hear this clearly:
You’re not doing it wrong.
In my work as a infant physical therapist and certified breastfeeding specialist, I get the privilege of working with new parents everyday. They share their thoughts of uncertainty and inadequacy. Two things can be true; as parents we love our babies deeply, but can feel unsure about every decision. Feeling this way means you’re human, and you’re navigating a season that often lacks the support it truly needs.
Why the First Year Can Feel So Overwhelming
For many parents, the first year feels hard, not because of something they’re doing wrong, but because of the environment they’re parenting in.
Here’s what I see again and again:
1. Too Much Information, Not Enough Reassurance
Parents today are surrounded by advice. Social media, Google searches, well-meaning friends & family, and conflicting professional opinions can leave you feeling like you’re constantly missing something. What’s often missing isn’t more information. It’s reassurance that your baby is okay and that you are, too.
2. Conflicting Messages About Development
One source tells you, “never use a pacifier.” Another tells you, “pacifiers are essential to achieve optimal regulation.” So many mixed messages about when babies are supposed to meet their milestones. Without context, it’s easy to feel anxious, even when your baby is developing beautifully in their own time. From a developmental standpoint, there is so much normal variation in the first year. Babies grow and learn through everyday movements, play, and connection — not perfection.
3. A Lack of Real Ongoing Support
There’s often a flurry of support in the early newborn weeks, and then… quiet. Parents are left navigating feeding, movement, sleep changes, and emotional transitions largely on their own. Many new parents tell me they feel isolated, unsure who to ask, or hesitant to reach out at all. They worry their concerns aren’t “big enough,” but support should not be reserved to those in crisis.
What Actually Helps Parents in the First Year
After working with countless babies and families, here’s what I wish every family had in their baby’s first year and beyond:
Gentle, Play-Based Guidance
Babies learn through movement and play — not rigid schedules or constant stimulation. Understanding how to support development in simple, everyday ways makes time with your baby comfortable and fun. If you want to learn more about this, come to one of my workshops!
Clear Context Around What’s Normal
Getting expert guidance as to what is typical (and what is not) helps parents worry less. So many concerns disappear once parents learn that their baby’s behavior or movement is developmentally appropriate.
Permission to Trust Yourself
You truly are the best parent for your child, but you need time to begin to trust the new parent voice in your head. When parents feel supported, they learn to trust their instincts. Confidence grows from reassurance over time.
Connection With Other Parents
Only those in the same season of life as you can truly understand the challenges of parenting in today’s world. There is something deeply regulating about hearing, “me too” when you share your question or concern. The best way to feel less alone is to seek out connection, building a priceless community of support.
The Missing Piece I See Again and Again
What I’ve come to believe strongly is this: Baby’s first year feels so hard because most parents aren’t connected to expert guidance and a supportive community. No one should have to parent alone. Parents need ongoing guidance, safe spaces to ask questions, and connection with others who understand.
A Note About What’s Coming
I have worked with new parents for longer than I would like to admit (my babies aren’t really babies anymore)…and because of everything I’ve seen and heard, I’ve been working on something new. I’m creating a supportive space for parents navigating their baby’s first year.
It’s being slowly created with intention, care, and the belief that all parents deserve access to expert guidance and a supportive community, without judgment or any pressure to be perfect.
I’ll be sharing more very soon. If this sounds like something you are interested in be sure to join my email list so you can be one of the first to get the exciting details! 🤍
